Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Today, I realized that Elizabeth has not been honest with me. She has been spending time with a man, Pringles I believe is the name, and thinks me blind and deaf to the whole situation. Sir Pringles has yet to make an appearance but I know that her heart lies with another. I can hear her mirth in the room upstairs, where we used to, used to, spend our time together, but now, it is all saved for Sir Pringles. I struggle to contain my tears.

In other news, I think I want a cat. They will never leave me. Or rather, I would like a cat, if my wife wasn’t already one. This constant “I will NOT marry you, no, I WILL, no, I WILL NEVER” is getting out of hand. She does as she pleases, and stares at me with catlike disdain. I think a cat will do nicely. After my experience with a FE-male, I think a FE-line will do the trick quite nicely. Aha…haha…hahahaha…ha….HA.

I need to get out more.

My 500 acres of land is just not enough. I do believe it is time for some social interaction with the human race. Dancing would be delightful. Perhaps Elizabeth will join me. Probably not.

All my love,

Fitzwilliam Darcy xoxo

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