That One Time Where I Got Lauren Real Good

Hello readers!

It’s Anna here, and this is my first solo blog. Hopefully it doesn’t crash and burn, but I’m feeling pretty good since I have a FANTASTICAL story to share. If you all read our previous blog post, Lauren (how lucky is she?) gets to spend some much needed quality time in Florida while I try not to get frostbite in good ol’ Michigan. Good. Ol’. Michigan. Not that there’s really anything to complain about. I mean, there isn’t even any snow. Compared to last year? I should be going swimming and tanning on the beach or something.


Wow. Tangent much.

Like I was saying…Lauren’s currently in Florida. I am in Michigan. And I’m having issues with the one guy that I thought I friend zoned. Key word…thought. Out of the blue (we’ll call him Bob), Bob texts me and says that we should try to hang out again sometime and chill.

Now, I’m not mean. I’m not one of those girls that have guys falling at my feet, and I don’t play with people’s hearts because that’s just cruel and I could never understand why girls do that. But anyway, it happens to be that at the church Lauren and I go to, there is also another very eligible, young bachelor who also, coincidentally, goes by the name of “Bob”.

On a scale from 1-100, I possess about 15% animosity towards him. Because he assumed I played the cello. Which let me tell you, as awesome as the cello is, you have absolutely no right to assume that just because I’m a music major I must play a stringed instrument. Check yo self. Rant done.


I text Lauren telling her that Bob 1 is bothering me again and I don’t know how to nicely tell him to stop. I mean, we can be friends, but that’s it. I’m not looking for anything more. But, I failed to mention Bob 1’s last name so in an act of hilarity, Lauren decided it’d be great to point out, “Was it Bob 2 that had fallen for my feminine wiles as well and was clamoring for my attention?” Perfectly knowing that there was no chance ON EARTH that Bob 2 would ever talk to me, let alone ask me out on a date. But that’s okay. I do not like Bob 2. I do not like him. I do not like him on a boat, I do not like him in a float. Period. He irks me.

So because Lauren went there, I decided to get her back. This is a long history. For YEARS she has been sending me various texts in which she has met the love of her life and I would freak out, call her, only to find out that she was, in fact, “just kidding”.

This time, this time…it was my turn. I texted her back saying, that indeed, it was Bob 2. That Bob 2 was asking me out and that I didn’t know what to say.

Then I waited.

Little more than 5 seconds had passed until I heard my phone ring.

Like the angel I am, I ignored it.

She called again. I relished in my delight as I ignored it again.

And finally, FINALLY, I see the blip on my phone when it alerts me that I have a voicemail.

Only then, after a hearty laugh, did I text my dear, sweet, unsuspecting Lauren that I was “just kidding”. Just the fact that the two Bob’s who couldn’t be MORE different…the idea of either one of them dating me. It’s a great joke. Especially Bob 2.

I’m pretty sure she hates me. But anyway, she’s in Florida so it doesn’t matter. She can hate me all she wants in her shorts and beautiful sunshine-y weather. I’m the one freezing over here.

Hope you enjoyed the story, and I know I can’t wait for Lauren to get back.

Until then, enjoy Christmas break, catch up on sleep, and just…well, run a marathon. ON NETFLIX.



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One thought on “That One Time Where I Got Lauren Real Good

  1. Pro tip: Don’t be nice. Don’t be mean either, but when breaking it off with a guy, you gotta be direct. We girls have sorta been socialized to think that direct is not nice, but that just isn’t true; it’s actually the most loving/Christian thing we can do… Aaanyway… don’t try to soften the blow (especially by saying something that’s half true)… tell him straight up.


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