Anna: So, to recap, Poopface is my brother, and although he can be a poopface sometimes, he’s actually pretty great when he wants to be.
Anna: He’s actually been bugging me for the past month about writing a blog post about him…
Lauren: But he’s not that…um…okay, he IS interesting, just…
Anna: There’s not that many stories like we share with each other.
Lauren: Funny stories that is.
Anna: Yeah, but regardless, we’ve decided to make a list as to why he’s the best and why we love him. Here goes.
REASONS WHY POOPFACE IS OUR FAVORITE:
1. He buys me (Anna) food.
Anna: I mean, he buys me EVERYTHING, but food especially. As a struggling musician, money is scarce.
Lauren: *snickers* Struggling, UNDERGRAD musician…so it’s even worse.
Anna: So, I appreciate the fact that all I have to do is give him a look, and with an eye roll, he consents to buy me whatever I need. Mostly food.
Lauren: Yeah, I mean, the waitress at Arby’s knows your guys’ order. To a tee. Though the name? Antone? I don’t think so…
Anna: Close enough. She brings food and blessings.
Lauren: And happiness. I mean, she’s basically Santa Claus.
2. He’s SOOOOOOOOOOOO easy to tease.
Lauren: I love ganging up on him.
Anna: He makes it too easy. He’s like the magician’s assistant who sets up the magician to look good…that’s how easy it is to gang up on him.
Lauren: And he doesn’t do it on purpose! It’s HILARIOUS. But obviously, we do it with the kindest intentions.
Anna: (Some of us, just kidding, he buys me food, I can’t say anything)
3. He gives you the weirdest, most reassuring compliments of all time.
Anna: If he compliments you, you know that you better be signing up for Victoria’s Secrets modeling or something.
Lauren: I prefer Dove. #realbeauty
Anna: …But for actually, this one time…I’m not going there, but lets just say…with the help of a British accent, Meghan Trainor’s song, and Sherlock quotes…he reassured me I was not overweight.
Lauren: Besties for lyfeeeee.
Lauren: What. WAIT. I KNOW THAT ONE. Best friends for ever and for always?
4. He attempts to sing basso profoundo.
Lauren: He sounds like an electric toothbrush that’s in your mouth and you can feel the vibrations on your skull.
Anna: That’s…actually really accurate.
Lauren: Inspiration struck and I took it.
Anna: But yeah, he thinks he’s like, the greatest bass in all time…
Lauren: Which clearly he is *wink wink*
Anna: …And he just walks around the house growling under his breath, and attempting to sing the bass line at church, but just kidding, he can’t, because he can’t read bass clef. The struggle is real.
5. He understands our humor and gets the fact that Lauren and I are soul mates (and doesn’t question it…or our sanity).
Lauren: ‘Nuff said. Anna and I are soul mates. Anna has a theory.
Anna: I think that you have a soul mate and you have an “other half”. If both turn out to be your spouse, well whoop-di-doo for you. But, for a lot of people, they have a person who understands them like no other, and then they have their significant other. Your “person” is your soul mate, but the person you want to marry and raise a family (and obviously love them as well, like, DUH) is your “other half”.
Lauren: I concur. In simpler terms…if you are familiar with The Office…we are both Pam and Jim, and Michael and Dwight. Because we’re best friends, but also made for each other so…(but not in the Pam and Jim way…in the Michael and Dwight way)
Anna: Also…it’s because I’m assistant regional manager.
Lauren: Assistant TO the regional manager.
Anna: Same dif.
Lauren: *Jim face at camera*
Anna: There are obviously more reasons than that…
Lauren: But it’s almost 10…and time for bed…
Anna: CUZ WE GOING TO SHI-CA-GOOOOOOOOOO.
Lauren: But hey, we’re going on a road trip and if any of you know of some local places to check out (besides the Museum of Science and Industry because we’re already going there) let us know in the comments below!
Lauren and Anna
Lauren: This message has been Poopface approved.