The Everyday Struggles of Mr. Darcy

Dear Diary,

Today, I was told that I had hair like a Disney princess.

I find this offensive since I am a man. Not amused. I was walking with Elizabeth down the pastures of my grand mansion and was ever so pleased with the beautiful orchids, but she did not seem to care. I was heartbroken, since she knows how sensitive I am. Even after our marriage, words come so hard. I do little more than grunt and look sadly upon her from day to day. I believe she is bored. Oh well. I like her face…she likes my riches. It works.

It is time to get another sculpture chiseled of my perfection. And by perfection…I mean my chin. Elizabeth’s family says that I am a strong, strong, strong…chinned man. I know they die of jealousy inside. Sometimes I think they love my body more than my riches. Does anyone even know I can hear them when they speak so? I will document more at another time.

All my love,

Fitzwilliam Darcy xoxo