Dear Diary (Part 3) *To be read in British accent*

Dear Diary,

Today, I had an ice-cream cone (*sings*) for the first time in forever. Elizabeth told me that if I liked Frozen so much, that I should become a Disney star. I believe I will be Sven. Because reindeer, are indeed, better than people. If only Elizabeth knew…if only she knew. Wow, I am soooo good at making references. And being subtle too. That’s why I’d be the lead of another movie. Because I’m so subtle. And good looking. Don’t you agree? I know you do. I wish I wasn’t so alone.

I thought this marriage would work out better considering that Elizabeth and I had known each other for a hearty three weeks. That’s two weeks longer than most couples’ acquaintances. But now? Now she is visiting…her family. And I am left alone…desolate…danceless. I do miss the dancing. I do not have the ability to converse easily with people…but I can dance. Like a queen. The dancing queen. See that girl. Young and sweet. Only 43. Ohhhhh yeaaaahhhhhh. See? This is why Paramount would hire me.

In other news, Mr. and Mrs. Collins (Elizabeth’s cousins and ex-fiance) are coming to visit us at Pemberley. I do so look forward to their visit. Perhaps they will pay me some attention at long last. Mr. Collins and I always have the most scintillating conversations; a humble and interesting man who cannot convey the depths of his affections in simple sentences. He is wonderful and my sole confidante now that Elizabeth will not speak with me. They come in a fortnight. Perhaps I will suggest cricket or a complimentary sculpture to be made in his honor to delay their departure. As my loyal friend the Doctor would say,  “I don’t want [them] to go.” (Season 4, Ep. 19). He will always be in my heart.

I have nothing to do with my time. Maybe I will buy an opera house. Or clean my closet. All 50 of them. Or take a quick swim in the pond and hope that the fish will not be disturbed as I was. I hate fish. And people. Good thing I’m rich. Anyway, I must away for the time is short, but first, a quick haiku:

“I hate all people.

That is all, my dearest friend.



Poetry is my second calling, blogging being my first.

Tata for now.


All my love,

Fitzwilliam Darcy xoxo


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The Best Comebacks Of All Time. Ever. The End.

Lauren: So, we were talking about how, in the moment, we all have a hard time with coming up with good comebacks.

Anna: I mean, I don’t know about you, but after someone says something “brisk”, I’m sort of speechless, like, why would you say that to me? But then, 5 minutes later, I have a perfect comeback.

Lauren: And she wishes that she had the Doctor on speed dial to borrow his Tardis and just casually go back 5 minutes to really tell “Bob” what was on her mind! But like, we wish we always had the Tardis, so…yeah.

Anna: I can’t believe the new season’s not on yet.

Lauren: It’s okay, we’ll watch it in heaven.

Anna: After we die of old age.

Lauren: Because…Stephen Moffat hates the world.


Lauren: We struggle with comebacks. I always think of them not in the moment, then freak out when I DO actually come up with a good one and people are like, “Doesn’t matter. You’re dumb.”

Anna: I don’t think you’re dumb.

Lauren: Thanks.

Anna: Gotchu.

Lauren: So we decided that the next time someone says something and we can’t come up with anything in less than 5 seconds…

Anna: Because that’s the acceptable time span before it gets awkward…

Lauren: It’s like the 5 second rule for food, except it’s comebacks…

Anna: We decided that we’re just gonna make an annoying noise or throw the comeback back at THEM.

Lauren: Watch this.

Lauren: Hey, Anna…

Anna: Hey, what.

Lauren: You’re a poopface.

Anna: …nyeeeeeeee *angry noise making*

Lauren: You nailed it.

Anna: Thank you. Hey, Lauren.

Lauren: Whaaaaaat.

Anna: Your face is dumb.


Anna: See? Works like a charm.

Lauren: But your face isn’t actually dumb.

Anna: And you’re not a poopface.

Lauren: Thanks.

Anna: *winks*

Lauren: I hate it when you do that.

Anna: …I know. :3

Lauren: Anyway, time for an update since we haven’t been on here in a LONG time.

Anna: College sucks. Update #1.



Lauren: Update #3: I got an internship with St. Mary’s!

Anna: Update #4: I did not get an internship…BUT. I might be working as a writing consultant next semester!

Lauren: Wooohoooo! *happy dance* Update #5: We’re moving to Seattle.

Anna: Update #6: We are not.

Lauren: Update #7: Somewhere rainy then?

Anna: Update #8: Sure.

Lauren: Update #9: Perf.

Anna: Update #10: Our lives are not that interesting, but, um, we have grand adventures sometimes.

Lauren: UM, ALL THE TIME. All day, erryday.

Anna: …No, a lot of stuff has happened, my dad made it through cancer…


Anna: I’ve had more opportunities for performances, and so much more.

Lauren: I’ve been busy with work and school and life. I’ve joined a bible study that meets at the same time as church orchestra so I’ve given that up. I just feel like God is directing me to do that instead of orchestra for the time being.

Anna: I’ve made new friends…

Lauren: I TOLD YOU SO. *dance*

Anna: And overall, I feel pretty content with this year even though it’s had its ups and downs. Lauren?

Lauren: It’s been one of the hardest years of my life, not gonna lie, going through changes with relationships, figuring out what I’m going to do for the rest of my life, but God has been very faithful and revealed Himself in so many ways. He is good.

Anna: I completely agree. I think that this year has taught me to lean on Him because He is the one constant in this volatile world.

Lauren: Yes.

Anna: Anyway, hopefully this update finds all of our loyal friends on the other side of winter and looking forward to summer break or at least warmer weather!

Lauren: Amen. A thousand times yes. Until next time!

xoxo Anna and Lauren

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Thoughts on Peace

Hey Everyone! It’s just Lauren here. Anna and I have started a new semester and we barely get to see each other, so we haven’t had time to do any writing together, so you’re stuck with just me for this one. 😉

This semester has been really crazy for both Anna and me. She’s working hard in her music classes and I’m taking a bit more that what our school says is a full load. It’s only three weeks into the semester, and we’re both already counting down the weeks until it’s done. I keep telling my mom that I don’t want to wish my life away, but I’ll be excited to be done with this chapter.

With all of the homework, rehearsals, family responsibilities, and more, life can (read as: is) stressful. We’re struggling to get everything done today, and professors are telling us that we need to think about down the road, to our future careers. It’s good advice and all, but it just adds stress and worry. It feels as though we’re drowning in everything.

But you know what? I have peace. ‘

When I say “peace,” most people probably think of the peace “that passes all understanding,” but I think that there is a second type. It’s the kind of peace where you just have to grab on to it with both hands and refuse to let go. The kind of peace where even though there are these chaotic things going on around you, all you’re doing is looking into the eyes of Jesus and trusting that He will get you through it.

The peace that I have is the second type. My life is not perfect. Every day, I struggle, I doubt myself, I worry about getting it all done. But at the end of the day, regardless of what grades I’ve gotten or what my professors and peers think of me, I know that God is good.

And that fact is what allows me to be at peace.

xoxo Lauren

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Reasons Why Poopface Is Our Favorite (Poopface Approved)

Anna: So, to recap, Poopface is my brother, and although he can be a poopface sometimes, he’s actually pretty great when he wants to be.

Lauren: …Yep.

Anna: He’s actually been bugging me for the past month about writing a blog post about him…

Lauren: But he’s not that…um…okay, he IS interesting, just…

Anna: There’s not that many stories like we share with each other.

Lauren: Funny stories that is.

Anna: Yeah, but regardless, we’ve decided to make a list as to why he’s the best and why we love him. Here goes.


1. He buys me (Anna) food.

Anna: I mean, he buys me EVERYTHING, but food especially. As a struggling musician, money is scarce.

Lauren: *snickers* Struggling, UNDERGRAD musician…so it’s even worse.

Anna: So, I appreciate the fact that all I have to do is give him a look, and with an eye roll, he consents to buy me whatever I need. Mostly food.

Lauren: Yeah, I mean, the waitress at Arby’s knows your guys’ order. To a tee. Though the name? Antone? I don’t think so…

Anna: Close enough. She brings food and blessings.

Lauren: And happiness. I mean, she’s basically Santa Claus.

2. He’s SOOOOOOOOOOOO easy to tease.

Lauren: I love ganging up on him.

Anna: He makes it too easy. He’s like the magician’s assistant who sets up the magician to look good…that’s how easy it is to gang up on him.

Lauren: And he doesn’t do it on purpose! It’s HILARIOUS. But obviously, we do it with the kindest intentions.

Anna: (Some of us, just kidding, he buys me food, I can’t say anything)

3. He gives you the weirdest, most reassuring compliments of all time.

Anna: If he compliments you, you know that you better be signing up for Victoria’s Secrets modeling or something.

Lauren: I prefer Dove. #realbeauty

Anna: …But for actually, this one time…I’m not going there, but lets just say…with the help of a British accent, Meghan Trainor’s song, and Sherlock quotes…he reassured me I was not overweight.

Lauren: Besties for lyfeeeee.


Lauren: What. WAIT. I KNOW THAT ONE. Best friends for ever and for always?

Anna: Jes.

4. He attempts to sing basso profoundo.

Lauren: He sounds like an electric toothbrush that’s in your mouth and you can feel the vibrations on your skull.

Anna: That’s…actually really accurate.

Lauren: Inspiration struck and I took it.

Anna: But yeah, he thinks he’s like, the greatest bass in all time…

Lauren: Which clearly he is *wink wink*

Anna: …And he just walks around the house growling under his breath, and attempting to sing the bass line at church, but just kidding, he can’t, because he can’t read bass clef. The struggle is real.

5. He understands our humor and gets the fact that Lauren and I are soul mates (and doesn’t question it…or our sanity).

Lauren: ‘Nuff said. Anna and I are soul mates. Anna has a theory.

Anna: I think that you have a soul mate and you have an “other half”. If both turn out to be your spouse, well whoop-di-doo for you. But, for a lot of people, they have a person who understands them like no other, and then they have their significant other. Your “person” is your soul mate, but the person you want to marry and raise a family (and obviously love them as well, like, DUH) is your “other half”.

Lauren: I concur. In simpler terms…if you are familiar with The Office…we are both Pam and Jim, and Michael and Dwight. Because we’re best friends, but also made for each other so…(but not in the Pam and Jim way…in the Michael and Dwight way)

Anna: Also…it’s because I’m assistant regional manager.

Lauren: Assistant TO the regional manager.

Anna: Same dif.

Lauren: *Jim face at camera*



Anna: There are obviously more reasons than that…

Lauren: But it’s almost 10…and time for bed…




Lauren: But hey, we’re going on a road trip and if any of you know of some local places to check out (besides the Museum of Science and Industry because we’re already going there) let us know in the comments below!


Lauren and Anna


Lauren: This message has been Poopface approved.

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That One Time Where I Got Lauren Real Good

Hello readers!

It’s Anna here, and this is my first solo blog. Hopefully it doesn’t crash and burn, but I’m feeling pretty good since I have a FANTASTICAL story to share. If you all read our previous blog post, Lauren (how lucky is she?) gets to spend some much needed quality time in Florida while I try not to get frostbite in good ol’ Michigan. Good. Ol’. Michigan. Not that there’s really anything to complain about. I mean, there isn’t even any snow. Compared to last year? I should be going swimming and tanning on the beach or something.


Wow. Tangent much.

Like I was saying…Lauren’s currently in Florida. I am in Michigan. And I’m having issues with the one guy that I thought I friend zoned. Key word…thought. Out of the blue (we’ll call him Bob), Bob texts me and says that we should try to hang out again sometime and chill.

Now, I’m not mean. I’m not one of those girls that have guys falling at my feet, and I don’t play with people’s hearts because that’s just cruel and I could never understand why girls do that. But anyway, it happens to be that at the church Lauren and I go to, there is also another very eligible, young bachelor who also, coincidentally, goes by the name of “Bob”.

On a scale from 1-100, I possess about 15% animosity towards him. Because he assumed I played the cello. Which let me tell you, as awesome as the cello is, you have absolutely no right to assume that just because I’m a music major I must play a stringed instrument. Check yo self. Rant done.


I text Lauren telling her that Bob 1 is bothering me again and I don’t know how to nicely tell him to stop. I mean, we can be friends, but that’s it. I’m not looking for anything more. But, I failed to mention Bob 1’s last name so in an act of hilarity, Lauren decided it’d be great to point out, “Was it Bob 2 that had fallen for my feminine wiles as well and was clamoring for my attention?” Perfectly knowing that there was no chance ON EARTH that Bob 2 would ever talk to me, let alone ask me out on a date. But that’s okay. I do not like Bob 2. I do not like him. I do not like him on a boat, I do not like him in a float. Period. He irks me.

So because Lauren went there, I decided to get her back. This is a long history. For YEARS she has been sending me various texts in which she has met the love of her life and I would freak out, call her, only to find out that she was, in fact, “just kidding”.

This time, this time…it was my turn. I texted her back saying, that indeed, it was Bob 2. That Bob 2 was asking me out and that I didn’t know what to say.

Then I waited.

Little more than 5 seconds had passed until I heard my phone ring.

Like the angel I am, I ignored it.

She called again. I relished in my delight as I ignored it again.

And finally, FINALLY, I see the blip on my phone when it alerts me that I have a voicemail.

Only then, after a hearty laugh, did I text my dear, sweet, unsuspecting Lauren that I was “just kidding”. Just the fact that the two Bob’s who couldn’t be MORE different…the idea of either one of them dating me. It’s a great joke. Especially Bob 2.

I’m pretty sure she hates me. But anyway, she’s in Florida so it doesn’t matter. She can hate me all she wants in her shorts and beautiful sunshine-y weather. I’m the one freezing over here.

Hope you enjoyed the story, and I know I can’t wait for Lauren to get back.

Until then, enjoy Christmas break, catch up on sleep, and just…well, run a marathon. ON NETFLIX.



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UPDATESSSSS (because curiosity)

Anna: Soooo, as most of you are dying to know…here’s some updates on my bubbling love life and other such shenanigans.

Lauren: I still don’t like bubbling.

Lindsay: It’s not even bubbling. It’s nonexistent. Like, on a heart monitor, it’s about like, beep…..beeeeeep….beep.

Lauren: It’s like almost like a fish that’s dead.

Anna: …

Lindsay: A dwindling love life.

Lauren: THAT’S THE RIGHT ADJECTIVE. Also, Lindsay is our friend, one of the only females of the saxophone studio.

Anna: Holla. ANYWAY.

Lauren: Anna went on a date, we don’t think he loved Jesus, he asked her out again…

Anna: AND I HAD TO HARDCORE FRIENDZONE HIM. I just…what does “hanging out” even mean? Like, are we hanging on a cliff, just…hanging out??

Lindsay: Waiiiit, you’re not giving me a code name? I’m just Lindsay? *raspberry noise*

Anna and Lauren: Uhmmmm, yeah.

Anna: Anyway. So, we didn’t even end up watching a movie about love because it was just…awkward. Like, he was super nice and everything, don’t get me wrong, but, just I don’t know.

Lauren: She didn’t like him.

Anna: I didn’t like him. So that’s pretty much the update except that it’s FINALS WEEK AND I WANT TO DIE AND CRY AND JUST WEEP IN ANGUISH.

Lauren: Except, now I’m doooooone, doooooooooooooone!!!!!!!!!

Anna: …I’ve got two more to go. I almost died in the music theory one today. Like, it was bad. REAL bad. Basically it was a final that eats other finals for dinner and then asks for another one for dessert. That’s how bad it was.

Lauren: Also…total tangent…but I realized that I blush more easily that I thought.

Anna: Expound. Please.

Lauren: One of my coworkers offered to set me up with his RA and I panicked.

Anna: She panicked.

Lauren: And blushed. Hardcore.

Anna: Crimson. ‘Twas the red carpet on her face. She camouflaged beautifully.

Lauren: I actually honestly don’t remember the last time I blushed that bad.

Anna: I do….but I’m assuming we can’t go there?

Lauren: You deduced correctly, Sherlock.

Anna: Thanks Watson. Anyways, so the fabulous Lauren is going to Florida with our other friend who is also fabulous (shoutout to Brea) and she’s going to relax for the week while I enter a committed relationship with Netflix, sleep, and food.

Lauren: The commitment was already there…so is it just more committed?

Anna: Yes. Yes it is. So, yeah. Finals week, a couple more days to go, we’re dying from the workload, but slowly the light is able to seen at the end of the tunnel.

Lauren: And just when we feel back to normal…SECOND SEMESTER!!! Like a brick train.

Anna: Brick wall?

Lauren: Brick train. It’s a combination of speed and force. Knocks you over…unexpectedly. That’s what makes it deadly. It’s sooooo unexpected.

Anna: …why are we friends again? JK, I LOVE YOU. But if any of you have any crazy stories about the fiasco known as finals, feel free to share them in the comments below! We’d love to hear them from ya’ll!


xoxo Lauren and Anna



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Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Today, I realized that Elizabeth has not been honest with me. She has been spending time with a man, Pringles I believe is the name, and thinks me blind and deaf to the whole situation. Sir Pringles has yet to make an appearance but I know that her heart lies with another. I can hear her mirth in the room upstairs, where we used to, used to, spend our time together, but now, it is all saved for Sir Pringles. I struggle to contain my tears.

In other news, I think I want a cat. They will never leave me. Or rather, I would like a cat, if my wife wasn’t already one. This constant “I will NOT marry you, no, I WILL, no, I WILL NEVER” is getting out of hand. She does as she pleases, and stares at me with catlike disdain. I think a cat will do nicely. After my experience with a FE-male, I think a FE-line will do the trick quite nicely. Aha…haha…hahahaha…ha….HA.

I need to get out more.

My 500 acres of land is just not enough. I do believe it is time for some social interaction with the human race. Dancing would be delightful. Perhaps Elizabeth will join me. Probably not.

All my love,

Fitzwilliam Darcy xoxo

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My Bubbling Love Life (But not really)


Lauren: Bubbling love life? That’s a terrible title.
Anna: I’m going for it. So. As many of you know…I bring ALL the boys to the yard. I practically have to kick them off my doorstep.

Lauren: I gave her a stick for her last birthday so she could scare them away. Just kidding…didn’t I give you a devotional?

Anna: …Yeah…you’re right. But anyway. I’m just so wanted and desired.

Lauren and Anna: *LAUGHTER*

Anna: Just kidding. I’m single as a pringle except not, because pringles are constantly spooning so like…I’m single-er than a pringle.

Lauren: ANYWAYS. Anna got a date this weekend and I’m freaking out because I’m so excited for her. But she’s…well she’s just freaking out. Period.


Lauren: Wait, he’s a man. Boy-man. Man-boy. I don’t know.

Anna: …Man…I don’t maaaan.

Lauren: So Anna asked me to come over Friday night after she gets back from her date so she can spill all the beans and if it doesn’t go well, to be her moral support.

Anna: I figured we could watch a movie and cuddle and just be best fraaands and stuff and UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH A MOVIE ABOUT LOVE.

Lauren: Anna has a complex. So…which movie do you want to watch?

Anna: I don’t know. I just don’t really want to watch the two leads end up together.

Lauren: …So. Romeo and Juliet sound okay? I mean, they kill themselves. It doesn’t get any better than that. I’m kidding. How about Confessions of a Shopaholic?

Anna: *stares indignantly*

Lauren: …Oh yeah. They end up together.

Anna: I could go for some Hamlet though! I like Ophelia.

Lauren: In that case, well, WE MIGHT AS WELL WATCH THE LION KING.

Anna: *raised eyebrow*

Lauren: …Oops. Nala and Simba.


Lauren: Because I’m sure that’d go over well in the box office.


Lauren: Is this in English? Will I even understand it?

Anna: Well I mean, there’s SUBTITLES.

Lauren: *gives look*

Anna: The music’s great.

Lauren: The storyline would suck! Where’s the climax?

Anna: When he goes to war. Halfway through the movie. It’s actually really sad.

Lauren: We’re not watching it.


Lauren: …Too soon.

Clearly, we cannot make up our minds. So, if you have any suggestions of a movie that DOESN’T involve the characters falling in love, or dying brutal deaths…leave them in the comments below! 🙂

xoxo Lauren and Anna
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Who in the World Are These Two Chicks?!

Hey Everyone!

We have decided that introductions are in order, because politeness. And because you all should probably be warned what you’re getting into.

Our names are Anna and Lauren, and we met at our church. We’ve been really close friends for almost 5 years now (Our 5th friendiversary is coming up in February. We know, we’re precious.) When we were in high school, we helped each other get through the days by texting nonstop.

Lauren: Well, I stopped when I had class.

Anna: Yeah…I didn’t…

Anyways, that really brought us close together as we sent Bible verses, stories of funny things that happened, or tales of what made us not be able to even. This year we’re both attending Grand Valley State University, so it’s been a big change for us to be able to see each other every day. It’s been wonderful to eat lunch together most days 🙂

We have the same humor, and we never fail to crack each other up, even when we’re having rough days.

Lauren: I’m a public administration and communication studies major…

Anna: Which is fancy for “being in charge of people.”

Lauren: …And I have some really “fun” and interesting professors in my life. Most of which revolve around “Beardman”…

Anna: That clever code name tho…

Lauren: ANYWAY, during our lunch breaks, we usually end up sharing stories about classmates, professors, family matters, random strangers, the muskrat that we SWEAR teleports everywhere, and basically all the intricate, detailed pieces of our lives.

Anna: We’re fascinating. Well, I’m a music education major and I’m majoring in saxophone. My saxophone professor whose name shall be “The Fred”..

Lauren: The Fred?

Anna: The Fred. He’s provided with some very strange and unusual stories, not to mention the classmates that I have to basically spend 10 hours a day with. Thus, with my adventures in the PAC (performing arts center aka home) and Lauren’s adventures amongst the rest of the campus, we have a grand time together.

Lauren: Some of our favorite hobbies include making fun of Anna’s brother (Codename: Poopface. But we really love him. It’s just good fun…and he’s a poopface…it all works out). He’s a huge inspiration to our humor and comedic gold. Seriously, the stuff that comes out of his mouth…

Anna: Say Mammalian Diving Reflex one more time…

Lauren: Sadly, yes, that has come out of his mouth…and ladies, he’s available. 😉

Anna: But besides making our brother the butt of our jokes, we also love discussing Jane Austen book and how Colin Firth kicks Matthew Macfadyen’s butt. And how perfect Mr. Knightley is…seriously. Jane Austen knows what’s up.

Lauren: ALSO, other than our obsession for all things Jane Austen, we love going to the opera, symphony concerts, random escapades that Poopface drags us along on and just generally, being our fabulous selves *channels Miranda Sings* <—check her out on youtube if you don’t get the reference

Anna: But you forgot the most important part. Not only do we love old novels, but we love older writers as well.

Lauren: Like…Moses?

Anna: …Is it blasphemy if I say no?

Lauren: I don’t know. Ask God?

Anna: …Okieee. ANYWAY. We love to dream about the fact that when we get to heaven, we’ll get to meet all sorts of “heroes/heroines” and chat…


Anna: Like, good ol’ Shakie.

Lauren: Shakespeare.

Anna: And Em.

Lauren: Emily Dickinson. We’d ESPECIALLY be besties with Emily. We be tight.

Anna: And don’t forget…Michael and Gabriel.

Lauren: They probably hate us. But we like to think that those two archangels look down at us and amidst all the facepalming they do at our jokes about them, they laugh and prize us as two silly girls after God’s own heart.

Anna: So I lied. This is the most important fact about us.

Lauren: Despite living in a secular world and going to a secular school, we love Jesus with all our hearts and try to live for Him every day in a way that pleases Him.

Anna: We want to share the love of Christ with those around us and show that Christianity isn’t just a set of “dos and don’ts” but is a relationship with God that we can’t even fathom.

Lauren: That being said, we hope that you all journey with us through this blog as we grow, and as our adventures take us on unforeseen paths.

Anna: Enjoy! Toodles, until next time…

xoxo Anna and Lauren (Btdubs, in the picture featuring us, Poopface is making an appearance as well…the face is why he’s called what he’s called :P)

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